Recognizing and Resisting Collective Narcissism: How to Break Free from Bullying and Scarcity Mentality
- Bruklan Starr LeFay
- Apr 2
- 13 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Content shared is for informational and inspirational purposes only. You are fully responsible for your own actions and decisions. Please seek qualified professional help for medical, legal, financial, or other needs.
💫 Blessings, my radiant Light-Weavers, my cosmic Dream-shapers, and to those sweetly enchanted by the swirling mystery known as Bruklan-itis, yes, you who hover at the edges of magic… you belong here too.
I am Goddess Bruklan, emerging from the shimmer between heartbeats, carrying celestial fire and the hush of ancient wisdom. I’m here to awaken the wild glow within you, to guide you into your own sacred power, and to help you sculpt a life so enchanted, it feels like destiny remembering itself. ✨
There comes a moment in every awakening soul’s journey when you look around and realize that not everything that calls itself “love,” “community,” or “success” is rooted in truth.
Some groups shine bright only on the surface.
Some crowds praise unity while secretly punishing individuality.
Some voices preach empowerment while feeding insecurity.
This is the subtle world of collective narcissism. A silent puppeteer of fear, conformity, and scarcity.
And when you learn to see it clearly, you unlock the door back into your freedom, your power, your self-trust, and your inner Paradise.
Let’s walk gently, boldly, and honestly into that understanding together.
Many people find themselves caught up in social groups that can be toxic. Collective narcissism is a mindset that can grip communities, organizations, or even families, making it vital to recognize and resist its effects. This mentality is marked by an exaggerated sense of superiority and a relentless craving for praise, often leading to harmful behaviors and feelings. Gaining awareness of these dynamics is crucial for achieving a more fulfilling and joyful life.
Understanding Collective Narcissism
Collective narcissism is what happens when a group whether it be a family, community, workplace, religious institution, or social circle
begins to believe it is superior, special, or more worthy than everyone else.
This superiority is usually a mask.
Underneath it lives insecurity, fragility, and a desperate need for control.
Unlike individual narcissism, collective narcissism is woven into the group’s identity.
It polices behavior.
It demands loyalty.
It punishes authenticity.
It thrives on sameness.
And most dangerously,
it convinces you that the problem is you, never them.
You begin to shrink your voice, silence your truth, dull your glow.
Not because you’re weak…
but because the group has conditioned you to fear being seen.
Yet, awareness is liberation’s first breath.
Once you recognize the pattern, the spell begins to crumble.
Social groups exhibiting collective narcissism are more likely to suppress dissenting opinions, leading to a toxic environment.
Many of those organizations portray themselves as the only source of truth, disregarding any perspectives that challenge their beliefs. This often results in members feeling isolated and pressured to conform.
The Illusion of Happiness
Collective narcissistic groups often look happy.
They laugh in public.
They take pictures of themselves smiling.
They perform unity like a perfectly choreographed dance.
But the real truth?
Happiness built on oppression is not happiness it is performance art.
Real joy welcomes diversity.
Real unity honors individuality.
Real connection celebrates your rising, not your shrinking.
Behind the mask, collective narcissistic groups often live in constant comparison, quiet resentment, performative kindness, fear of being the next target, competition disguised as “motivation”
Their smiles are stretched thin.
Their laughter trembles at the edges.
Because anything built on fear requires constant maintenance.
But your happiness does not need to be maintained.
Your joy is a birthright, not a display.
Collective narcissists promote a façade of perpetual happiness. They create an environment where followers are compelled to display joy, even though it's forced. This pressure can lead to significant mental health issues. Most individuals in such groups exhibit anxiety or depression due to the constant need to fit a fabricated image of happiness.
Such environments can make those facing personal challenges feel inadequate, leading them to hide their true emotions due to fear of judgment. Those belonging to such groups must put on a mask of false happiness when around others in the group, but while behind closed doors they are the complete opposite.
Bullying Tactics of Collective Narcissism
When you no longer play the group’s game, the mask drops quickly.
Collective narcissistic groups use bullying as a way to enforce their version of “normal.”
Their tactics are subtle at first, then unmistakable:
• Silent treatment disguised as “boundaries”
They withdraw affection to punish you for thinking differently.
• Gossip and rumor-spreading
They rewrite the story so they stay the heroes and you become the problem.
• Public shaming disguised as “concern”
Suddenly your choices become topics of discussion... “for your own good.”
• Exclusion
Events you once attended, conversations you once shared, suddenly vanish without explanation.
• Emotional intimidation
Their favorite line: “You’re overreacting,” “You misunderstood,” “You’re too sensitive.”
• Love-bombing when you comply
They reward conformity to bring you back into their system.
It is a cycle of push and pull…
a dance of manipulation…
a way of keeping you small so the group can stay “big.”
But the moment you see the game, you stop being a piece on the board.
The message in these groups is quite clear, that deviance from the group’s views is not just discouraged but actively punished, stifling individuality and critical thought. In fact, in those groups people are threatened that if they choose to leave the group they will be cut off from all family and friends who are also involved in the organization.
The Single Truth Narrative
Collective narcissism always creates one acceptable truth:
one way to succeed,
one way to belong,
one way to be “good,”
one way to think,
one way to exist.
If you question the narrative, you become a threat.
If you outgrow it, you become a disappointment.
If you defy it, you become an enemy.
A healthy community welcomes many truths.
A narcissistic collective insists on only one...
their own.
This narrative is their lifeline.
Your questioning becomes your rebellion.
Your awakening becomes your escape.
Narcissistic leaders often frame themselves as the sole bearers of knowledge, dismissing opposing viewpoints as false. This rigidity stifles critical thinking and promotes a culture of conformity. It also leads to stunted growth on all levels.
To break free, it's essential to value diverse perspectives. Actively seeking out contrasting opinions can lead to personal growth. For instance, someone may find that joining a discussion group with differing ideologies broadens their understanding and supports critical thinking.
The Cycle of Lack Mentality
Where collective narcissism grows, scarcity mentality always follows.
Scarcity keeps people obedient.
Scarcity convinces people that they need the group to survive.
You’ll hear things like:
“There’s not enough to go around.” “People out there won’t understand you.” “You’re nothing without us.” “You won’t find better.”
They create the illusion of a world where:
love is limited,
opportunity is limited,
success is limited,
approval is limited,
belonging is limited.
But these limits are fictional.
They are invented to keep you in a cage.
When you step out, you realize something breathtaking:
the world is abundant in every direction the group told you was barren.
Your dreams stretch their legs again.
Your heart remembers how to beat freely.
You feel the sun of your true self on your skin, and suddenly...
you wonder why you ever accepted such smallness.
Leaders in collectively narcissistic groups love hoarding resources, creating significant disparities between themselves and their followers. For example, in large organizations, those high up in the organization receive huge amounts of money and resources while followers are told that they are only allowed to earn the bare minimum. If some members choose to earn more they will often be looked at in a bad light by other members of the group.
Think it's time to break free yet?... because the time is now.
How to Recognize Collective Narcissism in Your Life
You may be surrounded by it.
You may have been raised in it.
You may have unintentionally participated in it.
There is no shame.
Awareness is love in motion.
Look for these signs:
1. You feel drained after interacting with the group
Not challenged... drained.
2. You’re afraid to speak your truth
Truth becomes dangerous instead of nourishing.
3. You’re pressured to conform
Individuality is treated as rebellion.
4. You’re punished for growth
Your glow-up becomes threatening.
5. They expect loyalty without offering respect
You’re asked to give endlessly… with little to nothing in return.
6. They minimize your pain
Your feelings become an inconvenience.
7. Leaving or disagreeing makes you “disloyal” or “ungrateful”
Healthy groups allow departure.
Narcissistic ones treat it as betrayal.
If any of these resonate, know this:
your instinct is speaking.
Your soul is asking for freedom.
Your intuition is waking you up.
If you suspect that you are part of a collective narcissistic environment, watch for these clear signs:
1. Evaluate the Group Dynamics
Examine how interactions occur in your group. Are diverse opinions encouraged, or is dissent quickly shut down? Healthy groups promote open discussions. A good rule of thumb is that if you feel unable to voice your concerns without being shut down by other members, you are involved in a toxic environment.
2. Observe the Leadership Style
Narcissistic leaders exhibit controlling traits. They dominate conversations and dismiss the input of others. If you notice your leaders consistently redirecting focus onto themselves, it might be time to reconsider your involvement.
3. Identify Emotional Responses
How do you consistently feel when you are with the group? If feelings of anxiety or undervaluation are frequent, it indicates toxicity. Taking note of how your emotional responses change around certain individuals can shed light on your situation. Another example, is if you feel drained of your energy after being involved with the group or other people involved in the group this is a sign of, what is called, energy vampirism. In other words, you're energy is being harvested from you by other members of the group.
4. Examine the Financial Aspect
Look at the distribution of resources. Is there a noticeable gap between the leaders and the followers? Understanding the financial dynamics can reveal power imbalances that contribute to collective narcissism. As they say, follow the money.
Tools for Breaking Free from Collective Narcissism
Breaking free is both an act of courage and an act of self-love.
Here are tools to reclaim your autonomy, your energy, your truth:
1. Trust Your Inner Authority
Your intuition is a compass older than any group.
Listen to it like a sacred whisper from your future self.
2. Create Emotional Boundaries
You do not owe access to people who misuse it.
Distance is medicine.
Silence is power.
3. Step Out of the Single Narrative
Question everything you were taught to accept.
Truth is not fragile... ego is.
4. Rebuild Your Sense of Self
Spend time alone.
Re-learn your preferences, desires, and dreams without external opinions shaping them.
5. Surround Yourself With Genuinely Empowering People
Not people who clap for you…
but people who mean it.
People who are not threatened by your shine.
People who grow with you, not against you.
6. Release the Need to Be Understood
Some people will never see the truth because the lie benefits them.
Set yourself free from their approval.
7. Anchor into Abundance
Repeat the mantra:
“There is enough for me. I am enough for me.”
Scarcity dissolves in the presence of self-belief.
Your power returns one truth at a time.
Here are other methods to help navigate this challenging landscape and some things are so important they need repeating:
1. Cultivate Self-Awareness
The journey toward change begins with self-awareness. Take time to understand your triggers and think patterns. Journaling can help you track your feelings and beliefs, making it easier to identify inconsistencies and red flags.
2. Seek Out Diverse Perspectives
Engage with a variety of viewpoints. Trying something new, such as reading books from different genres or participating in discussions with people from various backgrounds, can enhance your critical thinking skills. There are also support groups for people looking to get out of collective narcissism. You are not alone on your journey.
3. Establish Healthy Boundaries
Knowing your limits is essential. Clearly communicate what behaviors are unacceptable to you. Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your choices. Learning to say no reinforces your autonomy and sanity.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Shift away from a lack mentality towards a mindset of abundance. Understand that your self-worth is not based on others' approval. Engaging in self-love practices, such as mindfulness or creative hobbies, can bring about a healthier relationship with yourself.
5. Utilize the BITE Model
The BITE model (Behavior control, Information control, Thought control, and Emotional control) serves as a helpful tool for evaluating group dynamics. For example, do leaders enforce compliance through penalties, or do they withhold information that could empower followers?
6. Understand the Power and Control Wheel
This visual representation outlines methods used by narcissistic groups to maintain dominance. Recognizing its components can increase your awareness and help you identify harmful patterns affecting your life.
I personally call it the wheel of abuse since that is basically what it is describing in many different forms. Yes, collective narcissism is highly abusive in nature.
7. Seek Professional Guidance
If you find it hard to escape the grip of collective narcissism, therapy can provide support. Just make sure you are not choosing a therapist within the group since they will, most likely, choose to not see your side of things. A real mental health professional can offer resources and strategies for healing. This guidance can help restore your sense of identity and empowerment.
Embracing Your Personal Journey
Leaving a collective narcissistic system feels like stepping out of a dark room into sunlight.
At first, the brightness burns your eyes.
Then you blink, breathe, and realize...
this is what freedom feels like.
You begin to reclaim your voice.
You begin to trust your intuition again.
You begin to hear your heartbeat without the noise of the crowd.
You realize you were never meant to be part of a hive...
you were meant to be part of humanity.
Your journey is sacred.
Your path is uniquely your own.
You do not need permission to evolve.
You do not need validation to rise.
You do not need to apologize for choosing yourself.
Walk forward with clarity.
Walk forward with courage.
Walk forward with your head high and your heart open.
Because the moment you break free, you don’t just save yourself.
You become a torch for others still searching for the door.
CPTSD and other previously mentioned problems are more than common among those who have been involved in collective narcissism. It's time to break free from the narcissistic bullying for good.
With self-awareness, boundary-setting, and diverse perspectives, you can forge a truly healthier, happier life. Empowering yourself with knowledge and confidence will lead you toward true abundance and fulfillment.
The path to freedom may have its challenges, but the rewards are limitless. Prioritize your well-being and embrace your journey. You deserve your freedom and true happiness.
Note: I am not the creator of the BITE model or Power and Control Wheel. Please look those up when you get the chance as they are wonderful tools for people involved in high control groups and relationships.
✨ Affirmation
“I honor my inner truth above all external voices.
I release every system that dims my spirit.
I walk in my own power, rooted, radiant, and free.
I choose authenticity over approval.
I choose abundance over fear.
I choose myself.”
Let this affirmation rise like morning sun through the ribcage...
soft, steady, undeniable.
✨ Ritual for Reclaiming Personal Sovereignty
The Ritual of Returning to Yourself
A gentle 10-minute practice for dissolving outside influence and reconnecting with your own inner truth.
You will need:
A quiet space
A candle
A journal
Optional: a small bowl of water or a piece of amethyst
Steps:
Create the moment.
Sit comfortably. Light the candle. Let its flame become a symbol of your inner self... alive, bright, and impossible to extinguish.
Place your hand over your heart.
Whisper:
“I return to myself now.”
Breathe in clarity, breathe out influence.
With each inhale, imagine drawing your power back from every group, person, or system that ever tried to claim it.
With each exhale, release their expectations, their judgments, their narratives.
Dip your fingers into the bowl of water (optional).
Let the water represent purification.
Let it remind you that you are washing away every false story placed upon you.
Journal for three minutes.
Answer this:
What pieces of myself am I ready to reclaim?
Let the truth flow, raw and unfiltered.
Hold the amethyst (optional) or simply place your hands together in prayer pose.
Say:
“My truth is sacred. My path is mine. I rise from within.”
Blow out the candle.
As the smoke rises, visualize the last traces of collective influence dissolving into the air.
The ritual ends, but the reclamation continues.
✨ Prayer for Protection & Liberation
The Prayer of Sovereign Light
Beloved Source of Truth,
Guide of my intuition and keeper of my inner flame,
surround me now in clarity, in courage, and in unshakable self-knowing.
Release me from every collective illusion that asks me to shrink.
Burn away every thread of fear, conformity, and scarcity that has ever tethered my wings.
Let my heart be loyal only to what is real.
Let my spirit rise beyond group expectations.
Let my intuition speak louder than any outer voice.
May I walk in authenticity.
May I trust my path.
May I stand firm in the fullness of who I am becoming.
I choose freedom.
I choose my truth.
I choose myself.
Amen and so it is, and so it becomes.
🌙Until we circle back in this sacred digital temple of words, may soft constellations guide your dreams, may dawn pour honeyed light over your spirit, and may each moment shimmer with quiet miracles meant just for you.
I’ll meet you in the next post, my glowing starr–bursts. Keep blossoming, keep beaming. ✨
Let’s keep this little corner of magic filled with encouragement and light! If you feel inspired, I’d love for you to leave uplifting and kind comments. Not just for me, but for everyone who wanders through here. You never know whose heart your words might touch or whose day you might brighten. 🌸💫
✨ Your Voice Matters! ✨
To my wonderful readers: If you have ideas or suggestions for future blog posts, I’d love to hear them! Drop your thoughts in the comments. I’m always listening. If it’s something I’ve personally walked through, I’ll happily add it to my list of upcoming topics. I believe in writing straight from the heart, and only about what I’ve truly lived. Your input helps shape this space, and I’m so grateful to share this journey with you.
🌙 Spread the Light 🌙
If these words resonated with your spirit, I invite you to share them so they may travel like whispers on the wind, reaching the hearts most in need. 🌌 Bookmark this sacred space to journey with me through future writings and creations yet to be born.
With infinite gratitude and cosmic love... Love~2~All ✨💫
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